Shifting Sand.....Solid Rock....

What a difference in our world when we can stand on God's solid rock of love, truth, and certainty in the storms and in the sunshine.  It's much more noticeable to see the difference in the storms.  Lord, so much of our world does not have You to stand on, especially in this country.  So many children are growing up father less and therefore have a hard time grasping who You are and can be in their life.  Goodness we need You Lord, people need to know that no matter what comes, You are there for them.  People need to know they can trust that You have what is best in mind for them, that listening to Your Word, responding to Your love by obeying you will bring them true peace, true joy, true abundant living.  Satan is so good at selling the lies of thinking that possessions, position, popularity are what matter and will bring us joy.  Lord, help us not chase after those things and recognize standing firm in You, Your love for us, Your plan for us...are what matter and what bring about an incredible life here and forever.  Help me know it in my heart always, help me live it, help me teach it.

Blessings.....choosing to gaze there...

People are the priceless blessings in my life... and I'm full the brim with wonderful friends and family, and even kind strangers!  .thank you Lord for the amazing people you've placed in my life, in all these seasons, in all these occasions of life.  I have to sometimes do a mental turn to look at these blessings Lord instead of the fears and disappointments of life....please help me do this often...not be bogged down by the negatives in life...clinging to the good....accepting the challenges of life as growing opportunities....
bring me to joy Lord,  bring me to having some fun and smiling... goodness... what a wonderful sweet angel you sent me today at Walmart to cheer me and just walk up to me like she did and offer such encouragement!  Wow... like a direct gift from you to brighten my day.. oh the power of positive words.. may I be a light and a conduit of joy to others as she took the time to be for me.  An extension of You Lord.  sweet sweet moments...keep my eyes and heart tuned in....

Growing Old Gracefully...

Well the last two weeks have been full to the brim with twists and turns re:  my dad and his world, and because I'm being the parent to the parent.. my world also.  

Trying to do this from afar has been a challenge... Dad is a little over 2 hours from us.  I've tried to convince him to move to our area, but thus far, to no avail.  I have to say after living his entire 87 years in the locale he's at, I do think it would be extremely hard.   Everywhere he goes, he knows people of course which would not be the case here, but I think there are some delightful people he could get to know.

There are things that are happening in his world that are so much out of his control and that has to be so very hard.  What a balancing act to keep things all together.  With some daily help for now we are trying to make it work.  Unfortunately people take advantage and that on of my biggest concerns.   And thankfully because of some twists and turns we've learned some things and it has forced us to make some changes, etc. etc. etc.  It feels like a thousand little details need to managed almost daily.. okay not a thousand, but at least 2 to 5 each and every day-with many phone calls in between.  Thus, it does feel like being a parent again.  Didn't my kids just get happily married to three wonderful spouses?!  Didn't that mean I was kind of "done"...  ?

Many, many others have walked this path before and I am learning so much from their wisdom and experience.  Truly an amazing gift to have a few that understand this path (much like asking other "moms" of toddlers what to do in each circumstance).  Scott is helping me try to put up boundaries and be wise in order to preserve my sanity....  He is so patient with me and helpful.

So the questions will be there for me...is this the right path today to lead Dad on,  what will his day be like today.  Lord help me come to a place of peace in all of this.  I'm hungry for that.  I know Lord that people deal with so much more than I am right now and they grab on to Your peace.  Help me do the same.  Help me provide a safe and good environment for Dad.   Help me find balance in it all so I can serve You well and enjoy the refreshing wonderful joys you've given in my life.  Truly life is like two rails on a track..somethings good are happening in your life while some things not so good.(Rick Warren)  Help me focus and be thankful for the amazing good things!!!  Wow..there are so many.  Help me count my blessings every day and thereby be so cheered.  Help me know loving and knowing You matters most and that You have purpose for me every day.    Let me not miss that.  Use the challenges too Lord.

Help me grow old gracefully myself... there are definitely some wonderful heroes and heroines in my life that show me that.   Thanks for their example!    Choosing to see the blessings daily, choosing to serve You with enthusiasm every day, choosing to talk to You every day, choosing relationships over things...is that growing old gracefully...I think it must be.

Undercover agent, personal assistant, home health manager..???

So what hat will I wear today.. all three of the above possibly?  Lord help me wear them well and with wisdom.. oh yes and help me do my job every day well too!!   And help me serve You Lord...loving the church family well, serving where You want....and then there is what I really want to do... have some fun with the family...  :)
thanks for opportunities with that... just a phone call, a chat, a hug, a few moments of interchange... such a joy...they have no idea.....
thanks for those wonderful pleasures Lord.. family and friends... my deepest blessings besides the blessing of YOU!

2 a.m. phone calls...

So, I thought I was done with middle of the night waking up to care for someone, but alas, this is not true....another "new normal".  

Praying for much wisdom in this.   God please guide.

Another "New Normal"

Another aspect of New Normal... adult married children interested in cooking... loved having Rachel home for but a brief time yesterday...She came for a high school/college friend's wedding... and Brenden couldn't come along because he was part of another wedding in Omaha at the same time.  
The New Normal... cooking with Rachel.. in high school Rachel was so busy with activities and friends (and I loved all of that at that stage!) she didn't have a lot of time to stay home and cook....so when I heard she was coming for a little while this weekend I offered that we could put some dishes together for she and Brenden to have when it gets so very busy for her again (I think it already is-volleyball 2 a days and work-and soon school will be added.)  She brought some of her wonderful newly wed casserole dishes and pans and we spent the afternoon making things to pull out of the freezer for later!  Her good friend Amanda was here for the wedding and came and helped too.  Every now and then Alex/Alyssa and Taylor/Jamie have called with a question about how to make something.. and actually Rachel's dear friend who is like one of our own-Jessica-texted me too about how to make our homeaide not so good for you french fries!  It's nice to be needed.. I love this aspect of New Normal!!!  :)    I'm sure each of the newly weds are adjusting to many "new normals" of their own.  :)

"New Normal"

Adjusting to the "new normal" in life has been a process....New normal includes, all children married to wonderful spouses....watching many of their friends enter true adulthood with big people jobs, getting married, purchasing houses, etc.-enjoying adult friendships with them, still letting go-trying not to let stupid parenting remarks slip out.....quieter house...not many overnight visitors, or people showing up late hours to stop by.....

Body changes-more tired at times, weight harder than ever to control, and other unique 50 ish discoveries that I won't mention.......

Parenting the parent....about 18 months into this change...finally accepting and adjusting to it a bit more....realizing you are not done being a parent...but in a whole different way you hadn't really thought about...finding quite a comaraderie of individuals who have experienced this phenomenon, each in their own unique way with their situation, but for each, it has been a challenge and growing time.  Wanting to give parents the best exit from this world possible with learning boundaries for your own sanity.

Some time to reconnect with the man you fell in love with... realizing, just like the beginning, you have to make time to be together, to get away from all the distractions of life to enjoy each other, not letting the world crowd out what should come naturally.....enjoying each others company and just having fun, still discovering a few things and mindsets in the other that surprise (sometimes frustrate) and most often delight you...but also soaking up the coziness of knowing each other very well by now...

Serving God...the new normal in this.. figuring out that maybe all the little things along the way were your serving... realizing you aren't going to accomplish some of those big dreams you thought God had in mind for you and that's okay...battling through a mindset of ...now what... do I really have things to offer still...when in fact you do...and once again, it's the little things that matter for Him and for someone you know.

Treasured friendships/relationships-always been a big deal for me anyway, but more priceless than ever...knowing too though that there are some people you will never please or satisfy...and that its okay.

Time to read Gods word and listen more- to relish who HE truly is and what that really means to you--to others-so much of knowing God requires slowing down enough to listen and look at what He has going on...and hoping together with Him for many things, watch still for opportunities He does have in mind.  realizing it's time to be a bit bolder for Him in offering Him to others...because well, you might not have much time left.... :)  

"new normal" ....being afraid of it or embracing it.... my choice... hopefully I choose wisely... :)